Did you know that there were different languages that communicated love? As I support my clients in Unleashing their love life, I’ve found that understanding the way that each person has a unique desire to be loved in a specific way…which falls in alignment with these individual love languages. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, there are five ways to “speak” and understand emotional love. But many of us don’t understand the elements of these love languages. Often people are surprised when they learn about them. Chapman describes those five love languages as:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
Remember back to your childhood, you probably had the experience of giving and receiving love in specific ways. Perhaps your parents regularly hugged you and told you how much they love you (Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation). Or, instead, they showed their love by always driving you to and from soccer games and cheering you on (Acts of Service, Quality Time), even if they weren’t the hugging types.
Simply put, that’s how your parents expressed their love for you, and you may have adopted those love languages as your own.
But, later in life, as you began exploring dating, relationships or perhaps getting married, and eventually the message of love you were trying to express to your partner may not have been being received or acknowledged as an expression of love, even if love was your intention.
That disconnect could be that both of you may express love in different ways or have different love languages. You might question the depth and strength of your love, or you may feel uncared for, which can cause tension. Unfortunately, this can lead to emotional and physical disconnects between you.
One of the best ways to find that deeper connection is to explore your love languages. Maybe you like to be touched and need to hear words like I love you, you are beautiful, you look great, and so on. Therefore, your love languages would be Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch.
But maybe you don’t get that from your partner. Maybe, in the past, you asked for a nice massage, but your partner declined to give you one. This could make you feel upset, sad, or angry and, over time, you may find yourself feeling resentment and simply give up or stop asking for what you need.
Maybe your partner is expressing their love by doing little things for you here and there, such as folding the laundry or bringing home your favorite snack, but you don’t recognize it or take the time to acknowledge it. But, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts might be your partner’s love languages, and your partner might expect the same expressions of love from you.
In these moments, it’s important to have a compassionate, in-depth discussion about the ways in which you both like to express and receive love. You could try asking open-ended questions about what kind of words or actions indicate love for your partner, and how they like to express their love for you. See if you can learn what experiences support your partner in feeling loved.
When you give yourself the gift of exploring the concept of love languages with your partner, you might think, wow, why didn’t I know this before?
Whether you are in a relationship now or looking to manifest your perfect partner, being loved in a way that resonates with you will support in understanding and appreciating your role in a relationship. This will empower you in overcoming frustration or disconnection and bring you closer to feeling loved and secure within your relationship.
Pretty soon, you may not feel like you’re speaking different languages at all. You’ll stop feeling confused or like something is wrong, and, in time, you’ll learn how to express love for each other in ways that are more impactful and meaningful for you both.
It may take a few conversations to fully understand each other’s love languages, and it will take practice and patience to put those expressions of love into action, but the result—will leave you feeling loved and secure in your relationship—and it’s worth the effort.
If you’re looking for a guide to support you in creating a life that you truly love, I, Donna Broadwell, CHt., CMT am here to serve. I am proud to be a Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, Teacher, and Imagery Master. I get to live my dream of abundance and specializes in serving others to experience the same! If you would love to grow and expand into new ways of living your best life feel invited to connect with me for a complimentary strategy call https://donnabroadwell.com/