Are you being honest with yourself about your ability to say yes to a deep relationship? Most of us who are not currently with their perfect someone has probably said YES, I’m ready for my person. The interesting thing that I’ve come across again and again while working with my clients is that their words may have been saying YES, but their mindset was attached to a different result.
The power of our minds and our mindset’s ability to shift our results is not something to step over while on your path to deep and meaningful romantic relationships. Here are 4 things that you can incorporate into your relationship practice to transform your results!
- Stop looking for “The One” ASAP!
This is so important! Instead of searching for “The One” I invite you to look at dating as a learning process, an awesome way to get to know yourself and connect with others. Of course, most of us have heard the belief that when you stop looking for love, you will usually find it. As cliché as this piece of advice can sound, it’s true. So instead of feeling frustrated when each date doesn’t end in a marriage proposal, slow your experience of the dating process down.
Part of the benefit of slowing down is that you tune into your experiences with more presence. So, find clarity around ways you can enjoy the dating process. Perhaps you realize that dating is a great way to connect with people that you may otherwise have never met. It’s ok to have fun learning about other people even if they don’t turn into your next great relationship.
Giving yourself permission to enjoy the process could give you access to understanding what turns you on or what turns you off about a potential mate. It’s all good to dial up your curiosity about yourself and allow yourself the realization that dating is a life experiment…and that experimentation is part of the fun!
Here’s some great questions you can ask yourself to re-frame the dating experience:
Can you find something interesting about everyone that you meet? Can you develop a personality so engaging and uplifting that others cannot help but enjoy your company? Are you looking for valuable lessons that bring you one step closer to finding true love?
- Keep an open mind and heart.
Are you the girl who finds herself saying things like: “I don’t date short men.” “I only am attracted to blondes.” “I must marry a Catholic.”
Seriously, any of these declarations sound familiar? It’s easy to make decisions preemptively about who you want to avoid or seek out when it comes to dating. But this kind of behavior can be self-sabotaging. If you limit your dating pool, you stymie your chances of finding happiness. Dating, by its very nature, is about trying things out. Are you willing to try on dating to expand your consciousness and step outside of your “type”?
Most people in happy relationships are intrigued by their differences, not their similarities, of their partner. Further, most people are surprised by their ultimate choice in companion. Be willing to explore your options.
- Diligently nip negativity in the bud.
Be a hard NO to negativity! Commit to surrounding yourself with people who support you in bringing out your positivity about the dating process. Keep in mind that there will be no shortage of “friends” to commiserate with you on the pains of single life and the lack of available candidates. And sure, it’s good to make light of life’s foibles, but be wary of engaging in negative talk about your love life for too long. Words have power. We often speak our reality into existence.
Instead, make sure to surround yourself with encouraging and optimistic people. Plan outings where you’re having fun and are open to possibilities. Look for inspirational couples and love stories around you. Ask supportive people in your network to set you up with quality singles they may know.
- If you find yourself repeatedly unsuccessful, use it as an opportunity to grow.
You may find yourself in one of two camps: always single or repeatedly in relationships that are unsatisfying. Whatever your story, I suggest you take a step back and evaluate your role. If you make a concerted effort to change the narrative, you’ll see the story begin to shift.
Are you willing to ask for help and support so you can grow in new ways? It may be time to consider hiring a dating coach. If you find yourself with limited finances, then ask a friend who has created successful love in their life. Perhaps they can offer you advice or constructive feedback. You can also read books on dating, relationships and personal development and learn successful dating and new interpersonal behaviors.
You may also find that your lack of success in the dating realm leads you to pursue a passion or two in other areas of life. Even if this starts out as a desire for distraction, it can lead to meeting interesting people who you may not have otherwise met. Begin to expand your horizons and allow yourself to realize that every experience, even the difficult ones, are all opportunities to grow.
Go for it! Open your eyes and see the opportunities that are there for you…everywhere, and all around.
If you’re looking for a guide to support you in creating a life that you truly love, I, Donna Broadwell, CHt., CMT am here to serve. I am proud to be a Certified Hypnotherapist, Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, Teacher, and Imagery Master. I get to live my dream of abundance and specializes in serving others to experience the same! If you would love to grow and expand into new ways of living your best life feel invited to connect with me for a complimentary strategy call https://donnabroadwell.com/